Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Tricks and Treats

Today was the day I had been waiting for since two Tuesdays ago.  The day that the big beigey Schwan's truck would roll back around Dorsey Drive, park its icey inventory in front of my driveway, and answer my wish list.

"Let's sit on the front porch," I told Matt as he headed out to the back to enjoy a few moments of sunshine and a post-work drink.  "I don't want to miss the Schwan's man." 

"He's not going to show up," he said, shaking his head as I clutched my carefully-crafted list ever tighter.  Stuffed Chicken Parmigiana, baked haddock sticks, cheesy stuffed-pretzels... maybe he'd be here in time for dinner!  Which would be great, since I forgot to take anything out of the freezer.

"He promised he'd be back," I reminded him.  "He said he'd be back in two weeks two Tuesdays ago!" 

Six o'clock came and passed.  I thought a couple times that I had heard a large vehicle coming around, but it must have just been a semi barreling down 99.  Well, maybe he got caught up and busy at other houses that were also anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Schwan's man.  But I was getting hungry, so we'd just have some Costco frozen crap for dinner - maybe Schwan's ice cream as a late dessert.

Seven o'clock.  I perked up every time the cats looked toward the door, like Bridget Jones inevitably getting stood up for the 4th time that week.  Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Well, here it is, 10:30 and my wish list is no closer to being fulfilled than it was two weeks and a day ago, when I had not encountered this cruel tease of a dream.  Why, oh why come once but not twice?  Why taunt me with your colorful catalog and notepad scrawl of my contact info, and then stand me up?  I thought we had a good thing going.  We had mutual interests and goals - food and selling lots of it.  You don't even KNOW me and you turned me down!  I could have been the best sale of your week, and you didn't even give me a try. 

I believed in you, great Schwan's man.  And you just made a fool out of me (to my husband that doesn't especially care either way, and my cats that definitely don't care either way, but still).  You, and your cruelty, have now been blogged.  I hope you feel appropriately bad about it.

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