Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Fateful Ravioli

I've been (kinda) trying to eat a (little) better (sometimes), because I really do miss that skirt.  So, even though I know they're not good or very good for you from a processed food and chemical additive perspective, frozen baby-size healthy lunches do help control portions and such.  I have a few buried deep in the freezer, and I unearthed one that I faintly remember picking up a month or two ago.

"Lobster ravioli," I mused aloud, thinking of the same product I'd had from Cucina Fresca.  Hand-cut, impeccably stuffed pasta bundles oozing with character and flavor.  Well, this just had to be comparable.

According to the Healthy Choice Naturals web copy, it totally is.

Our all-natural ravioli is stuffed with real lobster and ricotta cheese. It's topped off with the garden-fresh taste of yellow and green zucchinis, roasted garlic, and a savory vodka sauce, and lightly finished with Parmesan cheese for a meal that's anything but ordinary.


Anyway.  I throw it in the microwave at work, let it cool for a few minutes as my eyes glaze over into Complicated Report Numberland, come back and take a bite.


Oh my god that is horrible!  Whatever "lobster" and "other seafood friends" they ejaculated into these things tasted like salty, fishy garbage.  I don't usually find things absolutely inedible, one of the two cases I can remember being A. a Rachael Ray recipe before I knew better and B. a Smart Ones Asian pineapple beef abomination. 

Straight into the garbage it went, along with my lunch plans to finish the last chapter of Animal, Vegetable, Miracle so I could move on to books my writing profs have published before school starts.  Where to go for lunch?  My favorite answer is Burgerville, but it was more than hunger that pulled me in that direction.  It was also curiosity.  Yesterday was the last day for my beloved Pickled Pepper Cheeseburger.  Had they replaced it with another entree?

As I drove into the parking lot, I saw a poster hailing the arrival of a new sandwich.  It was a turkey burger!  Hurray!  I could still be (kinda) good. 

Inside, safe and not trying to keep myself from being sideswiped by some Lake Oswego bitch trying to get her strawberry milkshakes home, I got to see the newcomer's collateral close enough to read the enticing copy.

A little bit of turkey and a whole lot of burger!  Introducing the Crispy Onion & Spinach Turkey Burger! This delicious creation pairs quality ingredients such as a Diestel turkey burger patty, fresh spinach, onions dusted with Shepherd's Grain flour and fried golden brown, and two types of pestos, all on a French bun! ...Try one today! You're not just making your stomach happy but the community as well! A portion of the proceeds benefits Zenger Farm.
Well, that was easy.  Ordered along with a side salad and Diet Coke.  The best thing about it was the full turkey flavor that came through, despite the other assertive flavors.  The patty really did stand up to the pesto and provolone, bouyed by a subtle but supportive roll.  Definitely better than that overbearing ciabatta that was weighing the Pickled Pepper Cheeseburger down.  And the bites with a crispy, salty onion (not too many, which kept it from being heavy or greasy) were heaven. 

In conclusion, I am again so thankful for the tiny slice of sanity 4.35 minutes from my office.  Plus or minus crazy Lake Oswego bitch maneuvering time.  Tomorrow, I will try another processed lunch in the name of slimming.  But this time, I'll stick with "chicken."


  1. Now you have me hungry for turkey burgers. You're ruining my weight watchers diet, not that I needed any help in that department.

  2. Sorry... as you can see, I'm pretty good at self-sabotage.

  3. I'm with you on the Burgerville love!